Who said anything about being cliche...

I REFUSE to go shopping until Christmas is over...the end. OH yeah, and I got sick again, bleh

2004-12-18T03:18:03Z

I remember...
*sitting in the woods at night, talking with Melissa about our(her) problems
*taking my feet off the petals and my hands off the handles as I rode down a hill on my three-wheeler with my eyes closed, and riding into a tree
*being attacked by a dog
*hearing my brother screaming f**k when he was fifteen and telling my parents
*flicking my mummy off and getting in trouble
*my first time at the beach when I was three
*being picked on and called names
*the first time I tried out for cheerleading and Britany tripped on the mats and seriously flew through the air...she didn't make the squad
*competitions with Lindsay in gymnastics to be the best gymnast
*climbing the tree in my backyard and pretending I was a jungle princess...I made some wicked jewelery out of leaves, pine straw, and berries
*trading one of my mummy's original Barbie's for a sock dress for one of Barbie's friends
*passing out
*sitting on dirt waiting for "chicken-chokers" to bite at the sticks
*square dancing being my one worry in life
*the first time I talked to Sam, and how the first time we met he brought me Japanese cookies and ceiling stars (which are hanging from my ceiling as we speak)
*being the different kid on Jamie, Richard, Angela, Bridgette, and Chris's table...oddly enough, I fit right in
*whenn I snuck Sleepy home and my parents had no choice but to keep her...now we can not imagine our lives without her
*Robby's contact falling out and him having to use the light on my camera to find it
*Nick nearly getting raped by a little girl
*The first time Sam and I kissed, his are my favorite kisses ever

Just overly stressed

2004-08-03T15:36:27Z

I need to stop thinking, I only confuse myself. I am stressed for stupid reasons, and it's all because of me. I need to call a friend who will understand.

I am in the mood for Perrico's, anyone available to do lunch this week? I still have the park on my mind as well...

Random thoughts of a tired mind

2004-08-01T04:36:17Z

Had possibly the best day ever yesterday. I don't remember being as happy as I was yesterday. Thank you =). Got registered for college, and got my classes, I am scared. Lori's father died :( so I will go to the funeral tomorrow. My dad is still hating on my hair, and I don't care. If you love me, hug me the next time you see me...
What is your name? Alyssa
Are you named after anyone?: Alyssa Milano (from Who's the Boss and those AT&T commercials).
What's your screename?: civchick04 (soon-to-be-changed)
Would you name a child of yours after you?: I have no children. But in the future? No.
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Jade or Talon.
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: I like mine :-).
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: Older people tend to pronounce my name as Alicia (uh-lee-shuh). So I am forever scarred and cringe when I hear the name Alicia (no offence to those that have the name, it just kind of happens to me, ha).
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: I don't like my last name, but no. I will just wait until I am wed.

Basics
Your gender:: female
Straight/Gay/Bi:: straight
Single?: indeed
If not, do you want to be?: (i am)
Birthdate:: March 21
Your age:: 18
Age you act:: Hopefully my own.
Age you wish you were:: I am happy now.
Your height:: 5' 5" maybe...?
Eye color:: greeny-blue.
Happy with it?: Yes.
Hair color:: Brown.
Happy with it?: I want red and blonde highlights, or a darker hair color, but I think that I will keep it just the way that it is.
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty
Your living arrangement:: With my mummy, daddy, bubby, and Sleepy.
Your family:: I couldn't imagine having another family, I love them more than anything else in this world, though I get frustrated with my father at times, I still love him, and my mummy is my best friend.
Have any pets?: Sleepy
Whats your job?: Sales lady and gift-wrapper at David's Pharmacy...HECK YEAH!
Piercings?: 5
Tattoos?: No, but I would like to get a pretty, tiny one sometime.
Obsessions?: Cleanliness, hair, tattoos, music, etc.
Addictions?: Lip gloss, gum, fragrances...
Do you speak another language?: Not any more, but hopefully in the future.
Have a favorite quote?: "All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream"-Edgar Allen Poe.
Do you have a webpage?: nope
Do you live in the moment?: Not really, I like to plan things.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Indeed.
Do you have any secrets?: Hmmm, maybe? But none that I can really think of.
Do you hate yourself?: no
Do you like your handwriting?: Sometimes.
Do you have any bad habits?: I'm sure I do, but I try not to.
What is the compliment you get from most people?: That I am so happy and that it rubs off on them.
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: ??
What's your biggest fear?: something happening to my family
Can you sing?: I try atleast.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Nah, though I wish I had other's fashion at times, but I am so happy with my fashion right now.
Are you a loner?: Depends on the mood I am in.
What are your #1 priorities in life?: To be happy and successful.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: I think I would be.
Are you a daredevil?: As long as it doesn't include water or the severing of body parts.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: That I can be overly quiet at times.
Are you passive or agressive?: Passive.
Do you have a journal?: Yes, real and online, but my real one has my music and poetry and deeply felt feelings in it.
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Being able to listen/help people with problems. Being too quiet, again.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: hmm...maybe to be a bit bitchier? working on it though...
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: I have my up's and down's, I am usually at my weakest during school.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Don't we all have regrets?
Do you think life has been good so far?: Yes :).
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
What do you like the most about your body?: Lips and teeth.
And least?: My thighs... :-(
Do you think you are good looking?: I hope I am.
Are you confident?: In what? Being able to do things? Yes. Looking good? Depends on what I am wearing.
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Cinderella...?
Are you perceived wrongly?: I think so, until people get to know me atleast.

Do You...
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Read the newspaper?: The City Scene every Friday
Pray?: almost every night.
Go to church?: Ehhhhhh, not too often.
Talk to strangers who IM you?: I HATE that!
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Not lately, I haven't had someone special to give me a plushie that I can sleep with :-P.
Take walks in the rain?: That is so awesome...I want to make-out in the rain though.
Talk to people even though you hate them?: Yes, I'm even nice to them.
Drive?: yes
Like to drive fast?: No.

Would or Have You Ever?
Hurt yourself?: No.
Been out of the country?: No, but Germany is awaiting me this spring break.
Eaten something that made other people sick?: Seafood, Sushi.
Done drugs?: no
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had a medical emergency?: When I got dehydrated and passed out.
Had surgery?: no
Ran away from home?: no
Played strip poker?: no
Gotten beaten up?: no
Beaten someone up?: Nah, I slapped a girl in first grade though.
Been picked on?: shyeah! All the way until 10th grade, and after that, I just figured out that I didn't care.
Been on stage?: Yes.
Slept outdoors?: No :*(. I want to.
Thought about suicide?: no way
Pulled an all nighter?: yes
If yes, what is your record?: Only two days.
Gone one day without food?: Only when I am sick.
Talked on the phone all night?: Does 8 hours count? I got off at 5 in the morning.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Yes
Slept all day?: Yes, but that was a bad feeling.
Killed someone?: HAHAHA! If I had, do you think I would really admit it on here?...but no.
Made out with a stranger?: No
Had sex with a stranger?: Ugh, I would be disgusted with myself. No.
Thought you're going crazy?: Bwahaha. What is "crazy" anyways? And do any of us really know?
Kissed the same sex?: No.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: No.
Been betrayed?: Yes.
Had a dream that came true?: That's frequent.
Broken the law?: Yes.
Met a famous person?: Tommy Hilfigure, Richard Simmons, a guy from Dukes of Hazzard, and someone else whom I can't remember. And I am in an artist's cd Thank You's.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: a frog
On purpose?: a frog...I was three OKAY? Don't judge :(
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: Not that I can remember, I normally keep things to myself.
Stolen anything?: No...unless the safety pins that hold price tags onto jeans count.
Been on radio/tv?: Yes.
Been in a mosh-pit?: HA! Oh geeze, that was an experience, yes.
Had a nervous breakdown?: Only during school.
Bungee jumped?: No.
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Quite a few.

Beliefs
Believe in life on other planets?: Yes
Miracles?: yes
Astrology?: Eh, it is always fun to read.
Magic?: Not really
God?: yes
Satan?: yes
Santa?: wish I did
Ghosts?: OH YES *cringes*
Luck?: Yes.
Love at first sight?: Yes.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Kind of...not really...yes...no? Maybe?
Witches?: Yes.
Easter bunny?: no.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: I've never seen any gold, though it was coincidental that once when the end of the rainbow was in my neighbor's yard, I found a penny in the dirt (yes, I was digging to get to me gold :-P )
Do you wish on stars?: Every night... =)

Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: Yes, in some aspects.
Do you think God has a gender?: no
Do you believe in organized religion?: No. Hard to explain.
Where do you think we go when we die?: where we belong

Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yes, indeed.
Who is your best friend?: Since I spend the most time with her....JAMIE!
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Does my mummy count?
Your favourite inside joke?: Awwwwe, but they're all special :-P.
Thing you're picked on most about?: Can't think of anything.
Who's your longest known friend?: Melissa
Newest?: Nick
Shyest?: Jamie S.
Funniest?: Jamie L.
Sweetest?: Jared, Jakey, and Sam
Closest?: I'm growing closer to all of my friends.
Weirdest?: Jamie S.
Smartest?: Jonathan.
Ditziest?: :-/
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Melissa
Last person you talked to online?: Sam
Who do you talk to most online?: Don't AIM very often.
Who are you on the phone with most?: Sam, and Jamie reserves some of her lunch breaks for me...yeaey for me! :-)
Who do you trust most?: I believe that I can trust each and EVERY one of my friends. I have really good friends.
Who listens to your problems?: I try not to bother other's with my problems.
Who do you fight most with?: Fight?
Who's the most outgoing?: Jamie S., Bridgette, Jamie L.
Who's the best singer?: Sam has a pretty voice!
Who's on your shit-list?: Ha! Ha! How horrible! I don't keep people like that around.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Hmmmmm. That is an interresting question...
Who's your second family?: My friends.
Do you always feel understood?: I don't know if anyone really understands me.
Who's the loudest friend?: Jared has a really loud laugh during movies that is fun to laugh at.
Do you trust others easily?: Friends...yes. I have a problem trusting guys...not the one's that I know, though.
Who's house were you last at?:Sam's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::........:-)....=)...;-)...
Do your friends know you?: Enough
Friend that lives farthest away:: Anna and Rolf

Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: No
What do you find romantic?: holding hands, whispering, sweet kisses, warm hugs.
Turn-on?: Guys wearing cologne.
Turn-off?: bad breathe
First kiss?: at 13, with Justin Overton.
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you feel?: slightly uncomfortable, but I would still take the time to get the time to get to know them and at least be friends with them, who knows, I might find something about them that I would like.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out: Not really, more guys need to learn to step up to the plate, however.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Yes.
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I hope so.
What is best about the opposite sex?: They are easier to talk to.
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: ego's at times.
What's the last present someone gave you?: Glowy stars, and Japanese snacks.
Are you in love?: no, it takes time, I don't believe the whole love at first sight thing will happen to me, I will fall in love with the person with a personality that I will really get to know and LOVE.
Do you consider your significant other hot?: Don't have one right now.

Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: ?
You wanted to kill?: Joe Smith, but that was a year ago.
That you laughed at?: Sam
That laughed at you?: Sam
That turned you on?: HAHAHA, Sam...
You went shopping with?: Mummy.
That broke your heart? No comment.
To disappoint you?: Hmmmm, there are a few, but I can't hold it against them.
To ask you out?: to go out? to be a couple?? I need more details!
To make you cry?: No comment
To brighten up your day?: Sam and Jamie S.
That you thought about?: Jamie S.
You saw a movie with?: Jame L., Nick, Jamie S., Bridgette, and Jared...I didn't get to finish it though.
You talked to on the phone?: Sam
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:Sam
You saw?: Sam, oh my gosh, I feel so repetitive :-P These questions need to be spiced up a little.
You lost?: my MeMe

Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: No.
Will it be with your significant other?: Maybe I will have one soon...:-)...
Or some random person?:
What are you wearing right now?: pink shorts with shooting stars, and a black shirt.
Body part you're touching right now:: foot.
What are you worried about right now?: Something.
What book are you reading?: Well I wish I was reading Harry Potter...
What's on your mousepad?: football calendar.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: anxious, tired, Xcited, optimistic, hopefull
Are you bored?: I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't
Are you tired?: Like you wouldn't believe
Are you talking to anyone online?: no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: content
Are you listening to music?: no

I think I want a new lay out.

2004-07-28T23:28:02Z

I asked my mum how my new way of styling my hair looked today, and my father made this comment: "Don't get any weirder than you already are"... o.O I am hurt...haha, nah, it was funny though...

Someone...please...let me know what is going on

2004-07-27T02:05:19Z

Great weekend, great show. Suprising how many people I knew there. I got to see: Jakey, Sam, K-bear, Stephanie, Nick, Jamie L., Codey, Daniel, Billy, April, Zack, Michale, Jason, Drew, Kyle, and Ben. Enjoyed watching Jamie's dancing; was great seeing Nick again; and had a super time hanging with Jakey again (thanks for the flower, though it was forced on you, hah). After show, hung with Jakey, Sam (you are such a sweetie and make me smile lot's, and I'm so glad I got to meet your gal-pals), K-bear, and Stephanie.

Kid-napped Jamie S. today and got some coffee, attempted to call Nick to invite him, then tried to find other people, but just ended up going to BS together and saw Andrew and Zack there. It was crazy seeing Andrew again, he's actually one of the few people from my past that I don't mind seeing.

My kitty cat is sick, and I think the whole family is going into depression about it...hopefully she will be oki, her doctor gave her some medicine today. And my father has surgery tomorrow, so sarcastic yeaey.

I think we're going to the movies Thursday if I can go after work, if anyone wants to go, call or leave a message...

Let me kiss you good night...

2004-07-23T22:52:48Z

I am home-thank GOD. I enjoy trips, but there is nothing like the comfort of your own home. I was beginning to miss people AND my cat! Hah! Jamie made really great company on the trip (LOVE you! I hope that things are better). Just a few highlights: walking to Club La Vela, Miracle Strip, drunk-man, getting in the ocean for the first time(the water was so clear you could see to the bottom), seeing the pirate ship (oh-so-cute), and winning put-put (loosers never win Jamie, sorry hun). Road The Tower, and when we were at the very top, there was a star right above my head, so I made a wish while I was practially on top of the world...*awwwwwes*, a romantic action, no? Maybe my wish will come true...

Anyways, TGAB show tomorrow, I'll go, esp. since I promised someone :-P. I'll have to figure out who is going with, or who I will be going with.

I'm in the mood for a movie and the park...

The unheard noise

2004-07-14T20:45:27Z

I was looking forward to finding Harry Potter at the library, so I met Sam there, but apparently the book was out, and that made me sad, but Sam made me happy. He brought me some Asian cookies and some glow stars for my room! Yeaey! He's so peppishly cheerful and cute! Well, we proceeded to the park, then we headed over to the Museum of Art (which I want to visit again). It was really fun, but our time was cut short due to the fact that I have responsibilities as home. Met Jamie (Potter) and Nick at the park, those kids are hysterical! And a lot of the amusement came from this little moronic girl that beat Jamie up and tried to rape Nick, hmmm, glad it wasn't me. The next time that I see Nick, I am going to bring markers so that I can color in his tattoo! Sha! *Nick and Jamie are my heroes*.

Mummy-daughter date at the Galleria tomorrow, then off to yet another lingerie shower (FREE FOOD!). I leave for the beach Sunday, I want to try to get a group together to go to a coffee shoppe and/or run around in the water fountain in Birmingham or at the gardens before I go, call me or leave a message if interrested, hopefully things can be worked out.

Show at Cave 9 July 24, who all's going?

Mean People Produce Little Mean People...

2004-07-11T21:51:09Z

Myself and Amber. Don't bother asking, because I know you want to

OLD Vulcan:

NEW Vulcan:

I am guessing this is Ritter's car, even if it isn't, it made me happy : )

Me

Andrew! I miss you, kiddo...

Andrew and Amber:

My random flower photography:

Me, pitching a fit on 4th of July (note the unhappy face):

The angel of mercy, herself...ME

Jamie and me(why do I look big in this picture...?):

Jared holding Jamie:

Jessica(my brother's girlfriend) and my brother (there Jamie, now you know what he looks like)

Schwing!

2004-07-10T03:04:30Z

Eh, everything on my computer has been erased, and I don't feel like downloading the software to put all of the nice pictures on here, so I guess I'll do it some other time. Went to the park with Jared, Ben, Jamie (Potter), and Jamie. It was fun, though I was freaked by the fact that we were walking to the pond and through the woods in pure darkness, but fun. Ben got cat-tails for all of us, and we pulled the fluffy stuff off of them and put it in a pile in the middle of our friendship circle, then we had some nice bonding time which included hugs. Then Ben and Jared chased the demons out of Jamie and Jamie (Potter). Geeze, I love being around them! Though I am not around Jamie (Potter) or Ben often at all, I LOVE it when I am with them. And Jamie and Jared know how I feel about them. I WANT TO SEE RICHARD AND KRYSTAL!!

Tabi and I went in search for the Bare Hands Art Gallery, and though she TOLD me that it was in Southside, she made me follow what was apparently wrong directions, so we ended up lost in Irondale...not my personal pick of a place to get lost at. But we went to a police station to get better directions, and they sent us down the street to some place that ended up being an art place for the mentally diabled. So I was ticked, to say the least, so I just decided to go to Southside and try to find it, and there it was. Geeze, the moral of this story? Please...do not use mapquest.com to get directions...

Jessica (my brother's g/f) is so freaking great! She keeps asking me to go to the city for lunch during the week. And she tells me that I need to hang out with her and my brother (which I wouldn't do that to my brother, hah), and it is really kewl that she is taking the time to get to know me, but I guess she should since they are pretty serious.

Hopefully the show is still on for tomorrow. It better be! Sha! Eh, even if it isn't, I suppose I'll try to find some kids to go see a movie, bowling, or something. Ewe, speaking of, I really need to get to the mall...

I need hugs

2004-07-04T03:44:59Z

Well I had a "spiritual" encounter that spanked my fanny and slapped my face last night. I suppose that is what I get for saying that I "need something new." BUT about five minutes before I got in bed, I was watching the tele., and I saw a shadow move across my floor, and it really scared me, so when I got in bed I was all acting like the boogie man was in my room or something, so I jumped into my bed and under the covers, then quickly turned the tele. off and pulled the sheets over me. And I had this really bad feeling, and my tummy started hurting. And quickly after I got in bed, my family got what we will call a "scare", and we got all emotional and started crying b/c we thought something worse had happened than what really did, but we found out that everything was actually pretty much oki, if you can call it that. BUT after the "scare" my mummy went to the bathroom, and I knew that she was crying, so I went in there to console her and she said to me "The weirdest thing happened when I opened the door, I heard MeMe say 'Kevie-doll is okay'". Meme is my grandmother that died a little over a year ago, and "Kevie-doll" is what she called my brother. Then we got all emotional again, and I told my mum about the shadow that I saw in my room, and we got all emotional again. It was just a scarey, emotional, bring-me-back-to-life kind of night. I think this is something that I needed because of several reasons. But this is the second freakishly-spiritual thing that has happened in my life, only the first time included witnessing a man's death and seeing HIS spirit. You can believe or not. It's not like I'd care.

I am erasing a lot of negative things/people from my life. I am putting the memories that I find hard to let go of into a bag, placed in the back corner of my closet, only to be brought out when I have found the strength to let go of them and accept the facts...

It is like one of those dreams where you are running in slow motion

2004-07-03T03:52:35Z

I feel alone in this world ...and it is greedy of me to think that when I have so many special things in my life I just need "something"...new

civchick04 @ 2004-06-26T22:03:00

2004-06-27T03:30:40Z

Real quick, opinions on which books I should read: Harry Potter OR Lord of the Rings? Any other book suggestions would be great, but I've been meaning to read those two series.
Very uneventful week that consisted of Gardendale, Bean Scene, a wedding, and moron's yelling "Hey cutie! Why don't you back that thing up? Come here cutie"(ugh, how humiliating ::insert just keep walking and pretend you didn't hear that::) Why can't guys like that just say "Hey, you look beautiful" or "Wow, you have an amazing smile"? THEN I would turn around be all like "hey, well thank you blah blah blah...". Eh, I just wish some guy would be like "hey, can I get your e-mail or phone number or something? Maybe we can hang out some time." But I did have a date last night, with this guy (great movie, indeed).
Malea's wedding was gorgeous! And so was she. Everything turned out perfectly, and I saw a few people from my past. I got a prettiful corsage b/c I was a server. I got the cut the cake, ohmygoshthatwasfun! Seriously, lol. Afterwards, I went to Wal-Mart to look at video games and see if Jamie (yeaey) was there...but she wasn't (boooo). Then I saw Bill-ay (yeaey) when I was leaving.
Just some shout-outs: The Great American Breakdown has a show at the Gardendale Civic Center on the 10th of July at 6. Everyone needs to go! Bring fi-dolla to get in. The Cure's new albulm comes out this Tuesday...GET...IT! So I guess that means another trip to Wal-Mart and the Bean Scene TuesDay.

civchick04 @ 2004-06-23T18:03:00

2004-06-23T23:06:32Z

I am going to dedicate this journal posting to anyone who has a rant, problem, confession, random story, or anything else they would like to share. Post ANNONYMOUSLY, just b/c that makes it more fun. Enjoy.

civchick04 @ 2004-06-19T21:31:00

2004-06-20T02:58:20Z

Edit:
Discussion topic: Is it wrong to love life so much that you don't want to die b/c everything would continue without you? I would really enjoy reading opinions on that one.

It's a Saturnight, and I am at home, alone, looking at music/fashion mags, drawing art, and now on the computer, how sad. Nobody loves me enough to ask me to hang out... :-(. Nah, just kidding, everyone is just working, and the one person who did ask me to go thrift storing, I didn't get his message until a little while ago, and it was too late (sorry).
Just for laughs, my mum and I went walking, and this little weenie dog came running up to us barking (and I am petrified of dogs of any kind b/c I was attacked by one once), and I jumped on my mum's back, which was really ridiculous considering it was a tiny dog AND I am taller than my mum, so that just didn't work. I am pitiful...
At this time next month, I will be at the beach, and hopefully Miss Sloan will be there too. I am so ready to sit at the edge of the ocean with my SPF 70 (no tans for me, thank you). Hung out with Jared, Jamie, and Bridgette the other night, my gosh those kids are a hoot! They make loads of loud noise and make me say the "P" word...totally not what you're thinking. Oh yeah, who left their keys in my car?
I don't want to be alone anymore...

I would give it all away for you

2004-06-15T17:05:00Z

I'd never really thought about how I would want my wedding, but with everyone getting married now, I began thinking of how I would want mine, and I have it all figured out now. My fiance would wear this lovely jacket (black of course) over a black and white/cream vest like this . My gown will be this but it will be white/cream with black tulle in the back and black corsette ties on the top. And the flower girl will be a faerie, and the wedding cake will be but there will be black roses on it. The colors of the wedding will be black and red, and everyone could dress in mideival/gothic clothing. Yes, indeed. I love that.

"Aaarrrgh!" said the girl who wished she was a pirate...

2004-06-13T03:59:05Z

Eh, weekend was fun, boring, fun...I'm just having mixed emotions about it, but it is still not over. I have a lingerie shower to attend to tomorrow, so that should be fun. I want a lingerie shower, and recieve all kinds of pretty panties and things-Oki, I am just weird. Anywho. Amber, Andrew, and myself went to Gardendale last night. On the way there, I saw CodAY (yeaey!) on the road, and I didn't know if he was pulling over for me or not, and I just totally passed him, felt bad, but I finally pulled over. As always, it was a pleasure to see him b/c he has the best personality ever. Then Am., An., and I went to the Bean Scene(probably my fourth favorite place to be). Talked about guys, past relationships, and loneliness...it is always fun to talk to gay men about these subjects, by the way, have I mentioned that I LOVE my gay man friends? Well I do! But I established that I want a guy with charm, my opinion of great fashion and hair, hyperactive/funny/fun, and the same musical interests as me-maybe I already knew that but I just didn't know. Anyways, saw Billy there (yeaey!), I thought he disliked me for some reason, but I am guessing he doesn't. Then we went to Wal-Mart and I got my SPIN mag.

In other news, I finally got Modest Mouse's "Good News...", and I got Mars Volta a while back, but I am still enjoying it.

I have a wedding to attend in the next few weeks, and I feel all low-self-esteemish b/c I was supposed to have a date BUT I don't. I know that I could find a friend to go with me, b/c I mean, who doesn't enjoy free food? But I want a date-date b/c I'm always the "weird" girl at these fancy functions, and it would just be nice to have a real date there that is like me.

Anyways, if anyone wants to hang out, feel free to call me 648-8641 . Would love to play video games, get Frappaccino's, or just whatever...

I bet you thought I wouldn't do it...

2004-06-09T22:21:47Z

MWUAH! This kiss is for you...

Dramatic change?...I think so! :-) I am tremendously happy, I've never really had my hair shorter than my shoulders, but I've always wanted to chop it off, so I finally took the incentive. I've never had hair this soft and straight before. Yeaey! I can wear it six different ways already, even in a cupie/faux hawk type way. Any opinions?

The Cure has a new song, everyone should check it out!!

2004-06-07T18:07:54Z

I hope that everyone had a loverly weekend. This weekend was the best that I've had in a while. Friday, Michale and I finally talked about things...yeah, his reason was totally different from what I thought it would be, but that's a good thing. I really hope that he and I stay in contact because it would be a shame if we don't. Afterwards, I headed to Gardendale, then Jamie and I met for frappacino's (the Bean Scene is just so unconveniently convenient for me now). That night I had a family dinner, and apparently my aunts noticed that I've gained weight...but they said that it was a "good thing" b/c I don't look unhealthily-scrawny. Maybe I WANT to look scrawny :-P. On Saturday, I worked all day w/o anyone else in my department-that was really nice. Saturday night I want shopping with Jamie, Krystle, and Jared. That was too much fun. Having girl-talk with Jamie is interresting. We went to pick up Richard(he was a little more quiet than I am used to), then we all headed off to the park, where apparently all of the kewl, goth kids like to hang out-I wish I would have known this sooner.
I talked to Jonathan last night, and he already despises his job, and starting cursing for the first time...hah. We'll hang out some time in order to keep his sanity. I miss being with my best friends everyday, but of course a break could be good, too?
Malea's lingerie shower is next Sunday, and her wedding is the next Saturday. I am Xcited about the whole thing, but it just feels a bit weird that one of my friends is getting married already. But I know that they are in love, so they might as well tie the knot. It must be nice to have that feeling and be so sure of it...
I still want to go to the zoo and gardens, I guess I will have to see who is in for going.

civchick04 @ 2004-06-02T15:12:00

2004-06-02T20:14:14Z

Monday was nice, the family was together, and I got to cook-I seriously need to be a chef, it makes me so happy. Yesterday, hung out with Jay, and we played *NSYNC UNO while we drank coffee...HAHAHA. Anyways, it was nice hanging out with someone new, oh yeah, and Le Tigre is wonderful! My mummy called me "a Ruby Gloom" a couple of days ago, and ironically, in the same day, my father told me that I belonged to the Adam's family, hah, it made me happy. My parents get so fretful when I'm not as chipper as normal, but I can't be peppy all of the time. I am getting my hair done soon, and I am too Xcited about it. I hope everyone will still claim me, even if it does look bad. But it doesn't really matter b/c hair grows out. Oki, I'm done.

I think everyone should fill this little booger out, just b/c:

i am: what they never thought I would be
i think: inspirational thoughts before falling asleep
i want: to be loved for who I am
i know: that I am annoying at times, and too quiet at others
i have: a young body and an old mind
i wish: I could be a model
i hate: racists and stereotypes
i miss: my MeMe
i fear: ghosts, bodies of water, and yellow
i feel: lonely...not alone
i smell: AND touch everything for some strange reason
i crave: affection
i will: save a life
i wonder: how I can hitch hike to Germany
i regret: sometimes being a bitty to the one's I love most
i love: my family, friends, tight hugs and warm kisses
i care: about preserving nature
i am not: always as happy as everyone thinks I am
i believe: in ghosts, big foot, loch ness, and aliens (it's just fun to believe)
i sing: obnoxiously loud with my moon roof open
i cry: when no one is looking, or on the phone
i fight: the things I feel pressured to do
i win: hardly ever
i lose: sleep sometimes
i never: lose my car in parking lots...well rarely do I lose it.
i confuse: everyone
i should go: to Egypt
i need: to get to the city

Sometimes I feel like wrapping myself in black, and getting lost in the darkness...

2004-05-30T05:27:39Z

Uggh. The week has been strange. Things are starting to hit, and I am beginning to realize a lot. I realized that I need more friends...more people to depend on. I focused on the fact that I have a long summer ahead of me, and people usually lose contact during that time, and especially now that I am graduated. I feel like I am losing all the people that I enjoy being with. I feel as though I don't have any one to depend/rely on since school is out and everyone is on vacation, working, having relationships. No one has time any more. I know that it may sound as though I am dependant on the people around me, but I am just one of those people who needs people to love, and to love me. And all of my friends are different, and don't all get along, AND, not a lot of them share some of the more important things in common with me right now. But I DO LOVE my friends right now, and I guess that is all that matters.

Went to Cave9 tonight. What a disappointment. I missed Hey Revolution, and the second band was so disappointing that I just went outside after about 5 minutes, and never went back in. Then a gang of kids called...jiggaloes...sp?...a group of crazed ICP fans basically circled around us and made us very uncomfortable, especially with their disgusting nicotine habbits and sexual gestures. I was seriously afraid that they were going to pull out knives, or violate us or something. But Jakey was there, and everyone that doesn't know him, fears him. I love him. And his lady friend. We went to Al's-very kewl. And I finally got to look over the city and see Vulcan. Very accomplishing if I do say so myself.

Anyone can feel free to call if you want to hang out...

Please Xcuse my boredom.

2004-05-25T15:36:36Z

I straightened (NOT permanently) my hair yesterday just because I haven't seen it that way in four years, and it looked a little something like this: Geeze, it was craziness! Look at the fluff. Anyways, I am still contemplating on whether or not to get it straightened, thinned, and dyed, b/c I'm not sure if it will still be fluffy. I want my hair to look like this: or even: but I guess staying like this is probably my only option right now: heh, funny picture. Maybe I will just keep the curls, and get my hair dyed back to my natural brown that I love. Oh well, I was just posting b/c I knew that a few of you might want to see what I look like with straight hair (Richard, Jamie, Amber). I am done.

civchick04 @ 2004-05-22T21:33:00

2004-05-23T02:48:24Z

Graduation was short, simple, and sweet. I am glad that high school is over with-That deserves a Big Bird "YYYEEEEAAAAEEEEYYY!" My brain hasn't fully processed it yet, but that is oki. Amber was there to show her love, Michale got to come :-). The night was GREAT, and my life is GOOD.
I've been working, so now I have money (*cough everyone should come visit me at David's Pharmacy cough*).
No Cave9 last night, but that is oki, because there was a valid reason, or two, or three...
I have new henna paste-SHYEAH! Who wants a henna?...WHO...wants a henna? You know you do! I actually scared a woman when she saw the art that I made in my palm, hmmm, that was fun. I still want my tattoo... :*(.
Going to Michale's tomorrow =).
I'm in the mood to: go to the park; go fishing; go camping; walk through the city at night; go to the gardens and/or the zoo; go to the Space and Rocket Center; snuggle; buy new clothes; write a song/poem; go to sleep and have sweet dreams...

You Know you want to...

2004-05-20T03:44:02Z

*HUGS* TOTAL!
give civchick04 more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

civchick04 @ 2004-05-14T22:29:00

2004-05-15T03:50:24Z

Last day of school today. I failed my exam (I am sure), but that is oki b/c I still pass the class. Senior night was oki. Senior video was funny and had footage of Daniel's dancing fanny in it, yes, and that is goofy. Saw Michale yesterday and today. I would use words to Xpress how kewl he is, but they just wouldn't have the same effect as verbal and facial Xpressions. And he hugs on my like a rag doll. That is fun :-). (If you read this, I sincerely hope that your weekend gets better, and I am deeply sorry about what happened). Anyways...
Work tomorrow from 1-5. Lunch alone, then get my film developed. I'll have to find plans for tomorrow night. I need to get out.

Just for fun:

civchick04 @ 2004-05-12T18:43:00

2004-05-12T23:44:35Z

Just a little warning to those of whom this may concern, watch out for people on the run from the cops, because you never know when they will run out into the road. Yeah, I almost took one of those kids out with my car today. Good thing he had some good brakes on his shoes.

I did a lot of driving around to find a certain something to make for a certain someone. Yeah, no luck there... :(. I WILL find it though. Shyeaaaaaah...in other news, I get to see Michale tomorrow :-) =) :} : ). I can not wait. I love the feeling of being close to him. Hopefully he feels the same...I think he does.

I have taken time to look at the world around me lately and find relief in it's beauty. I have always admired spider web's and the work that their creator's put into them, but I have found special beauty in them lately and find myself looking for webs whenever I am outside. They truly are a beautiful thing. I think that everyone who reads this needs to list one thing that is "weird" about themselves-I'll go first: I enjoy the taste of flower petals (something that has stuck with me since childhood)...